Sparkling Sunset by the Whitby Coast

Jul26

This blog is my final entry before I turn the big 30 and begin a new chapter, leaving behind my twenties. I am happy to announce that my boyfriend and I are now engaged – something I never thought I would get to experience and write about in a blog.

The other weekend my partner and I decided to go for a long weekend in Yorkshire and we happened to have some of the best weather so far this year – must be our weather magic.

We arrived on Friday in York and began by going on a haunted tour of the city. The guide really made this tour as he took us round to the Minster, Guy Fawkes birth place and the shrine to Margaret Clitherow – the martyr of the Roman Catholic Church. He involved different people including my other half in acting out being hung drawn and quartered. I think even the tour guide jumped though as we stood in the historic street ‘The Shambles’ where he explained butchers would hang up their meat and people emptied chamber pots so blood etc would make a river down the street, when someone pulled loudly shut a window above us.

We then met up with my friend and her other half for dinner in the Mumbai Lounge. Pregnancy is really suiting her. I predict it will be a baby girl – watch this space! That night we stayed at The Golden Fleece pub. This is the oldest Inn in York – mentioned in archives as far back as 1503 and is believed to be haunted. We stayed in Lady Peckett’s room. Lady Peckett’s husband owned the Golden Fleece around 1702 and some guests have reported seeing her ghost. The pub has great charm with its uneven floors – our bed had a block of wood under one leg to make it level. Whilst we didn’t see the ghost of Lady Peckett the waiter at breakfast, we joked, seemed almost ghost like!

We met up with my Mum and Dad the following day and visited York Railway museum for the 75^th anniversary of Mallard doing the fastest speed of a steam train in the world at 125.88 on July 3^rd 1938. Little did I know that when my other half and my Dad went somewhere for a quiet chat it was for my now fiancé to ask my Dads permission for his daughters hand in marriage.

That evening the two of us travelled on to Whitby and had a most enjoyable fish and chip tea in the famous Magpie Cafe. The building itself was built in around 1750 when it began a long association with fishing and shipping. It opened as a cafe in approximately 1939 and is widely considered the best place to get fish and chips in Yorkshire.

Full from our meal, my other half suggested a walk along the beach and then as the sun was setting, colouring the sky red, and the sea was rhythmically grazing the shore; he dropped down onto one knee and produced a stunning sapphire and diamond ring.

Engagement rings go back to the 13^th century in the Western World and are worn on the second finger on the left hand as this is believed to be the shortest distance to the heart. I was so stunned – the first thing I said was are you joking before giving an enthusiastic yes. It couldn’t have been a more romantic proposal given that our first date had been fish and chips on the beach in Broadstairs. We celebrated in Wetherspoons of all places with a bottle of champagne which the staff had to dust off!

Champagne was actually discovered by mistake when the cold winters halted the fermentation process only for it to start again in the spring creating a bi product of carbon dioxide which remained trapped in the wine. It is now generally seen as the drink of choice for celebrations and in a book I am reading that I was kindly bought as an engagement present ‘How to Wear White’ it is said that the UK spends over £5million a week on champagne! There is some suggestion however that the consumer trend this year is towards people buying Prosecco over champagne to celebrate with.

The following day was spent walking round the town, playing crazy golf (where I got a hole in one) and in arcades as well as going on a boat trip. I’m sure those cuddly toy machines are rigged! I couldn’t resist this gem of a satchel – so like the ones of the Cambridge Satchel Company but far cheaper, which I discovered on a market stall.

We had a fish and chip tea down on the beach again whilst the sun set and I dipped my toe into the cool sea.

We then finished our stay with a trip on the North Yorkshire Moors railway and a visit to Goathland where Heartbeat was filmed. On arrival back at Whitby, we grabbed some freshly baked doughnuts only to be dive bombed by seagulls!

We returned home to break the good news to both sets of parents. I still can not quite believe it has happened to me – the little girl who said no one would ever marry her. I cannot stop admiring my ring and feel like I am on cloud nine. This wonderful event also ticks another box on my bucket list, so I have achieved 4 out of 10 of the items – got engaged, been to India, done the Moonwalk and started riding lessons again. The others will be carried over to my new bucket list to do before 40.

We now have around a year to plan our special day and I can’t wait to get started. Look out for lots of wedding planning themed blogs over the next few months!

When you realise that you are all grown up

Sep30

A few weeks ago I attended the wedding of one of my very close friends. It was held at St Benedict’s Ealing Abbey which was a fantastic choice of venue; very grand which made it feel like a royal wedding. My partner and I were unfortunately late due to appalling traffic and it was most embarrassing as people turned around when we entered the church and I tried to tiptoe to a seat as quietly as possible in my gold stilettos; not an easy task I assure you!

The service was lovely and the bride looked stunning in her white, one shoulder, fish tail dress with jewel encrusted bust and floor length veil. The tradition of Western brides wearing white was popularised when Queen Victoria wore a white dress in 1840. During the middle ages when weddings were less about love and more a union of two families, brides wore rich colours, the latest styles and often prized materials such as fur in order that they may display their wealth to the other family. Poorer brides would wear their Sunday best.

The bridesmaids wore cream and gold Coast dresses with red satin shoes. I wore a red dress I ordered online from a site called Persun who customised it to my size. I accessorised with a toucan clutch from River Island.

Following pictures on the steps of the abbey, we then travelled to the Richmond Gate Hotel. A drinks reception met us with something I hadn’t tried before – cranberry with champagne and very nice it was too. The sun was shining for a change so we could relax in the hotel garden and have some informal photos. Now already my feet were hurting but luckily my best friend was better prepared than I was and lent me some flip flops so I could rest my feet on and off!

The tables were beautifully decorated with flowers and diamonds – after all diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Each table also had a box of London quiz questions which I thought was a rather innovative idea. The favours were boxes shaped like roses with chocolates inside for the girls and a Mario shaped box filled with jelly beans for the boys. Wedding favours were originally called bonbonnieres and began in Europe where the rich gave them as a sign of their wealth. The boxes would have been made of gold or porcelain or precious stones and it would contain sugar as this was a rare commodity then. As sugar became more plentiful, this evolved into almonds and then sugared almonds in the thirteenth century. The common favour for weddings became 5 white sugared almonds in some pretty coloured netting or a box. The 5 almonds were to signify fertility, longevity, wealth, health and happiness. The contrast of a sweet coating and a bitter almond symbolises the bitter sweetness of marriage. Nowadays many different things are given as favours to show the bride and grooms appreciation and as a souvenir of the day.

The wedding breakfast was delicious with smoked salmon to start, chicken for main and a lemon torte for afters. The best mans speech was great fun as he devised a game of bingo where he held up pictures of the groom growing up and you ticked off the ones you had. The cake was then cut and the couple had their first dance.

With the formal part of the day over, the party got started with a mixture of Irish music and popular beats. It was a wonderful day of catching up with friends and partying into the night. My partner and I stayed over at the hotel as it would have been a long journey back and I certainly made paying for breakfast worthwhile, filling up on cocoa pops (I know I should have outgrown them by now, lol), a full English and cinnamon whirl!

Over the last few years I have seen many of my friends get married, buy houses and become parents and I guess as we head at lightning speed to the end of our twenties this is no great surprise. As I sat down to the wedding breakfast I suddenly felt quite behind everyone, with our table consisting of one couple with a three week old son, one couple recently married in July (see previous blog ‘Cultural Celebrations’) and the other couple who married some years ago and have a gorgeous 8 month old little girl. Despite the joy of the day and the happiness I felt for the wonderful couple; a little sadness also washed over me – was I being left behind my peers? A quick Google found many attempts at lists of things to do before you hit 30 (the so called bucket lists) and there was a comedy drama made in 2005 entitled ‘Things to do before you’re 30’. There are also lists of things to give up by 30 such as not using night buses, not getting tattoos or piercing etc and of course Margaret Thatcher famously said if you are on a bus over 30, you have failed. The lists vary wildly, however there are some common themes. Most lists have learning to drive which I can tick off as I eventually passed my test on A Level results day after 5 previous failed attempts – proof perseverance pays off! There are also things such as moving out of home, getting a proper job and falling in love, all of which I can tick. I once did a vision/mood board; an idea from the cult book of a few years back ‘The Secret’ and it is interesting to look at what I have achieved off there. I did indeed start dancing lessons and I live in a Victorian terrace just like I pictured. Sadly I never did make it to become an air hostess although I did get offered the job as one – I just decided I couldn’t survive on the wages. Here I have put together my own list of things I still want to do before I hit 30, some big and some small and now I have 10 months to tick off as many as possible.

Get married – this one is now highly unlikely to happen before my milestone birthday but hopefully I might get engaged before it
Bought a high end designer pair of shoes – the closest I have come is LK Bennett at the moment but I am saving hard for a pair on Manolo Blahnik’s
See India – hopefully going in April, fingers crossed
Do basic motorcycle training and get a Vespa/Lambretta – unlikely I feel but hey at least I have the VW Beetle I always wanted and as my Dad once said, I’m a danger on 4 wheels, what would I be like on 2?
Learn to knit – knitting is once again cool with clubs all over the country
Have some horse riding lessons again
Do the Breast Cancer Moonwalk
Finally start that diet
Possibly still fancy butterfly tattoo on my hip but I am a big scaredy cat – once got all the way to the shop and backed out!

Anyway to end on I wish the lovely couple every happiness for the future and thank them for being such great friends. I also want to congratulate my other friend on attending the wedding and looking fantastic, only 3 weeks after having given birth.

Finally I want to share my latest purchase in keeping with the bird print trend of the summer as I’m not quite ready to let go of those warm days yet. I will team this with my black skinny jeans and some black flats.

Until next time…

Cultural Celebrations

Aug11

The first weekend of July was a fantastic one, if very hectic with my Indian friends wedding, birthdays and a trip to Kensington Palace. I took the Friday off work and pampered myself; having my highlights done and finger and toe nails painted. I then set about making birthday cakes; Ben 10 for my 6 year old nephew and Peppa Pig for my 3 year old niece.

Friday evening was the Sangeet night for my bride to be friend. This is a ceremony which takes place before a Punjabi wedding and in this case was combined with the mehndi ceremony. Women only customarily attend the Sangeet night with a few men attending if they are close to the bride or groom. The event was held at her house and was like a wedding in itself. There was a marquee, a DJ and staff serving food. The beats of the Indian music were already in full swing when I arrived and certainly was in keeping with the English translation of ‘Sangeet’ as ‘sung together’. The many colours of the saris were breathtaking. It is traditional for the women to wear vivid colours to add to the festival feel at a mehndi ceremony. I wore a bright red lacy dress. Mehndi is henna used as a temporary skin decoration and is applied to the hands and feet in very intricate designs. It is traditional for brides to have very elaborate designs; sometimes with the groom’s initials hidden in it. I couldn’t wait to have my hands done and was amazed at the wonderful patterns created freehand with a henna cone which looks rather like a piping bag. As the henna dries it forms a hard layer which then cracks and falls off to reveal a reddish brown stain. Oil is applied to the hands to darken the pigment. The henna lasts for approximately one week.

The delicious scents of Indian cooking set my taste buds alight. Following food, there was much traditional dancing and the DJ’s music was also accompanied by the dholki which is a traditional two headed drum with cotton rope lacing. It was a wonderful experience and on leaving her mother gave me a beautiful bag filled with Indian confectionery.

On Saturday I headed up to London for some British history with my Mum, aunt and cousin and we visited Kensington Palace. This was the home of Queen Victoria before she became queen and many royals have or have had apartments there; including Diana and now William and Kate. Some of the highlights for me were Queen Victoria’s wedding dress and an assortment of Princess Diana’s dresses.

Victoria’s Wedding Dress

Another of Diana’s dresses

Sunday was the day of the wedding itself. I ordered a Lehnga Choli especially from India for the occasion and also wore gold bangles. A friend gave me a bhindi to complete the look and I wore gold, jewel encrusted heeled sandals.

We arrived early; around 9 at the Gurdwara. I thought that was an early start but it was nothing compared to the bride herself who had been up since 4.30 am having her make up applied! The bride was kept in a room by herself as she was not to see the groom before the ceremony. The Baraat then arrived which is the groom’s procession. He carries a sword and male and female relatives of his walk behind him. He looked fantastic in his traditional dress. Milni then took place where the bride and grooms family formally greet each other beginning with the fathers. Garlands are placed around each others necks and prayers read. Breakfast for all then commences. This comprised of samosas and onion barjis with traditional Indian tea and the very addictive Indian sweets.

We then all make our way to the main area of the Gurdwara where the ceremony is held and we are required to remove our shoes, cover our heads and men and women sit on separate sides on the floor. I must admit I was rather worried at the prospect of locating my shoes again in the racks and racks of them! The main ceremony is called Anand Karaj which translates as blissful union. As we entered, we were required to walk up to the Guru Granth Sahib (the holy book of the Sikhs which is the scriptures of the ten Gurus of Sikhism), kneel down and place money in a box in front of it. The Guru is treated like a human Guru and as such respect is always shown and no one must sit higher than it hence sitting on the floor. The book is placed on brightly coloured cloth and has a canopy over it. The Giani (priest) waves a Chaur over the Guru as a sign of dedication and respect. The Chaur consists of yak hair on a wooden or metal handle and dates back to the times when people would gather round one of the ten Guru’s to listen to his teachings and fan him because of the hot climate. The bride then entered and looked absolutely breathtaking in traditional red and gold with bracelets with like cymbals hanging from them. She must wear the bracelets for 40 days after the marriage although some can be removed after 11 days. The bride and groom then sit at the front with the bride on the groom’s left.

Unfortunately as the ceremony was in Punjabi, I could not understand it but essentially the groom has a sash over his shoulder called a palla and one end of this is placed in the bride’s hand. As each of the Laava (four sacred hymns) are read, the bride and groom circle the Sri Guru Granth Sahib and on the fourth circle they are married. A Sewardior servant then brings round karah Prasad. This is a sweet pudding made of semolina, sugar and butter. It is prepared in a special way with prayers and should be received in cupped hands lifted up for the Sewardiand then transferred to one hand and eaten with the other. It should never be refused or given away. It was very nice and this marked the end of the ceremony.

We then all travelled to a community centre where the reception was to be held. The weather was against us with torrential rain but as I mentioned in my blog last year when my other friend got married, rain is seen as lucky on your wedding day, signifying a lasting union. Thoughts of the weather were soon banished though as we entered a marquee containing a chocolate fountain, fruit, champagne and various tasty fruit juices including lyche.

Once seated the starters were brought out which were delicious. The bride and groom then arrived to a chorus of dholki with the family in a procession behind them. The cake was then cut and they had their first dance to Googoo dolls which was lovely.

The bride and groom then sat on the stage in a lovely white chair. Photos were taken and people went up in turn to congratulate the couple and place money in their laps which is the custom rather than wedding gifts. Our main was then served and the mother of the bride handed out boxed confectionery to us. There was then much dancing until an early finish for the bride to return to her house for a farewell with her family before going with the groom and his family to where they live. As the bride and groom left, we threw confetti and waved them off. It was a wonderful day and it has made me more adventurous with Indian food. When my boyfriend and I went for a curry on Saturday night, instead of my usual Korma, I ordered Chicken Darjeeling which I enjoyed very much.

To end with another celebration; on 20^th July I went to see the Olympic torch relay come through Medway where I live. It was lovely to see the community spirit and the pride of the country that we are hosting this great event. People were out on mass with their Union Jacks and the crowd buzzed with excitement.

I am fortunate enough that this is my second viewing of the torch as I saw it in Skiathos in 2004 when Greece hosted the Olympics but to see it in my own town was something far more exciting.

Anyway I shall end there. Did you see the Olympic torch or perhaps you would like to share some interesting wedding traditions of different cultures? Until next time….

‘A Bridal Shower’

Aug13

The day of one of my best friends wedding is almost upon us. I took the day before off work and treated myself to a set of false nails. I used to get these done regularly as my nails have always been a bit brittle but this is the first time I have had it done in years. I was suitably pleased with the results and the price; £20 for a full set! Apparently for some people this is still too much as whilst I was in the salon, a woman left without paying! People’s mentality never ceases to amaze me and on my walk home, I saw another example of it. One of my elderly neighbours had fallen and before I got to her, another girl just looked and kept on walking!

I took the opportunity as I was at my parents to visit my favourite boutique, Torza and came out with a beautiful pink maxi dress with pearls around the neckline. I can justify it as it being bought with my birthday money, although I have a feeling that this birthday money is going to be on a bit of elastic! I also went into the shop called Vintage and found the perfect bag to go with my bridesmaids dress. It must have been quite a find as on the day even the blokes commented on it!

Finally the big day was upon us. I was so excited but couldn’t believe that after all the beautiful weather we have had, it chose to rain on today of all days. Superstition has it that this is good luck. I had a read up as to the reasoning behind this and found various suggestions. It is thought by Hindu’s that it represents a stronger unity, being that a wet knot is harder to undo. There is also a belief that it will be a healthy and fruitful marriage, due to rain being essential for good crops.

The other bridesmaids and I met at the bride’s house early and the hairdresser started on our hair. I was determined to get my signature butterfly into my outfit somewhere so chose a butterfly slide as a hair accessory. I love to have my hair done, don’t you? It’s so relaxing. The Cava was cracked open early and we had a lovely time getting ready.

As we helped the bride into her dress, I thought how amazing she looked. It was a stunning dress with lots of lace. The bouquets arrived and then before we knew it, the time had come to head to the church.

The service was lovely and the priest made it really; he was a little on the eccentric side to say the least. I got through my reading without tripping up on my way to the stage or stumbling on my words thankfully. As we left the church, we bridesmaids were on duty to ensure the bride’s dress remained clean and dry. On arrival at the reception, the sun finally came out and the bride relaxed at last.

The father of the bride speech was so moving and it got me wondering what my Dad would say if I ever get my special day. The cake was a tower of cupcakes which must have taken the bride’s friend ages, but it truly was stunning. If you ever want a knock out cake, I highly recommend her.

http://www.sweettreatcupcakes.co.uk

As the drinks flowed, we all danced well into the night and I managed to brave it out and keep my new sparkly heels on all evening; the price we pay for fashion! The photographer went up in my estimations when I noticed she was wearing a Kookai shirt, much to her amazement. Kookai was always my favourite shop but sadly only exists as a concession in stores now. The clothes are timeless though and unusual. I still have stuff from there that I bought over 10 years ago.

The bouquet was thrown but sadly I didn’t catch it. My other half did start to talk about marriage though as did another of my friends boyfriends. Not sure if the excitement of the day or the sheer amount of alcohol brings on this conversation though!

Over a year of planning and the day seems to be over so quickly. Everything was perfect down to the last detail though. Here’s hoping the marriage will last forever and that the weather was a good sign! Congratulations to the happy couple! Enjoy the honeymoon and thank you for the privilege of making me maid of honour.

Friggatriskaidekaphobia (Fear of Friday 13th)

May12

So tomorrow is Friday the 13^th; some of you may well be thinking of staying in bed just in case. I however no longer fear Friday 13^th but see it as lucky. Last year I put a bet on a horse on Friday 13^th and it came in, so for me this is all the proof I need! Tomorrow also marks the end of one of the seemingly longest working weeks; it has felt more like a month than a week after all the short weeks we have had thanks to Easter and the Royal wedding. Now on the subject of weddings, it seems wedding talk is surrounding me at the moment. My best friend gets married in August, my brother gets married next year, a girl at work is arranging hers, on the train home tonight two girls were enthusiastically discussing one of their weddings and even the magazines are in on the act talking of wedding season approaching! I however still eagerly await my proposal. My boyfriend and I went to New York to mark our two years together and I really thought it might happen as did many family and friends of both of us but sadly no. Does anyone else feel society puts undue pressure on you to marry before you are 30?

This week has been tough on me for another reason. My move had felt more like a holiday up until now but the reality of work makes it all the more real. Naturally you both bring home stress from the work place. God I miss coming home to my meal on the table! Yes I was spoilt though at home. My Mum is not just my bestest friend in the whole world but when I was at home, she acted as personal assistant, writing letters, making phone calls and running errands; often to the post office to collect my latest internet purchase! Hang on a minute, that last part hasn’t changed; I still have parcels delivered to Mum in order that I can sneak in my new additions to my wardrobe and shoe collection! I must share with you all how thoughtful my boyfriend was yesterday though; when I got out the shower, he had left a freshly picked rose on my dressing table. I am loving living with him despite the need for us both to adjust.

Today I found my mind wandering to holidays and as it happens, this months stars said my thoughts would be filled with ideas of foreign travel. I know I had a fantastic holiday in New York already this year but I really do fancy a beach holiday – this pasty complexion needs to catch some rays! Also I saw a great cut out swimsuit I must have so now I naturally need to go somewhere to wear it.

Anyway try not to fear tomorrow too much, try seeing it as lucky, after all it’s only a number! Stay smiling, it’s the weekend at last!

blahnikgirl

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